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Free quiz

Are you the default parent? Take the mental load quiz.

Twelve everyday questions, two minutes, no sign-up. Then send it to the other parent and compare.

  1. Who notices when the kids are running low on something: shoes that fit, school supplies, lunch food?
  2. Who knows when the next dentist or doctor appointment is, without looking?
  3. When an email comes from the school, who reads it and does what it asks?
  4. Who knows which days this week have an early dismissal, a PD day or practice?
  5. When a pickup falls through, who gets the call or the text?
  6. Who signs the kids up for activities and camps, and remembers the deadlines?
  7. Who knows the names of the teachers, the coaches and the other kids’ parents?
  8. When a child is sick, who works out who stays home?
  9. Who finds the babysitter, and tells them what they need to know?
  10. Who remembers the birthday parties, the gifts and the RSVPs?
  11. Who checks the plan actually happened: the form signed, the homework done, the ride turned up?
  12. If you went away for a week, who would have to write the instructions?

How to use it

  1. Answer each question honestly: mostly me, we share it, or mostly them.
  2. See your result and three things to try.
  3. Send it to the other parent and compare answers. The differences are the conversation.

This is a conversation starter, not a scientific test. The questions follow how researchers describe the thinking behind family life: noticing what’s needed, working out options, deciding, and checking it happened.

FAQ

Questions parents ask

What is a default parent?

The default parent is the one everyone goes to first: the school, the kids and the other parent. They know the schedule, notice what’s missing and make sure it’s covered.

What is the mental load?

The thinking behind the doing: anticipating what’s needed, working out the options, deciding, and checking it happened. Researchers call it cognitive labour, and it’s easy to miss even for the partner of the person carrying it.

Is this quiz scientific?

No. It’s a conversation starter built on how researchers describe the mental load, not a validated test.

Are my answers saved?

No. The quiz runs in your browser, and nothing you answer is stored or sent.

The easiest job to hand over is the pickups.

In Kid Pickup every pickup gets one person who said “I’ll do it”, and the app sends a nudge when one still has nobody, so it stops living in one parent’s head. Grandparents and sitters never pay.

Start your 14-day free trialDownload on the App Store

No payment to start. Android is on the way.

Worth reading: The default parent: what it means, and how to share the load

Worth reading: Being the only parent who remembers school pickup

More free tools: Babysitter information sheet · School pickup authorization letter · Weekly “who’s got the kids” schedule · Carpool rotation generator · Home-alone age by state and province · all tools